Prudence

 Call me John. I have been thinking a lot about Pru lately, I was the only one who could get away with calling her Pru, she was really Prudence Tremayne. Those who called her Pru were very quickly taken down, as only she could, and never, ever, called her Pru again. We started at a secondary modern school on the same day, both of us late because we had been down with chicken pox, and became firm friends very quickly, probably because we already knew each other and realised that we were both in a place that neither of us wanted to be. That we were the bane of our teachers lives goes without saying. Like myself Pru had been borderline at the eleven plus, and missed out on the Grammar School by a whisker. We were clever kids, just not good at exams. We were both of the opinion that we were surrounded by losers, and that included most of the teachers. That we were quick learners, and quick to question if we thought something didn't sound right did not go down well with the teachers generally. From day one we did just enough to keep ourselves in the B stream – neither of us were interested in the A stream, where we would have had to learn French. There was only one teacher in that school that we could never get the better of, the English teacher had our cards marked from day one, and she was always one step ahead of us.

There was another boy, Freddie, from the C stream, and a girl, Julia, from our class, who were our friends. Well, I say a friends, Pru simply tolerated Freddie because I liked him, and I remained friends with him for many years until cancer got the better of him. Julia was a different matter, we both liked her – they really were the only ‘friends’ we had at school. Obviously there were times we didn't want them around, and they quickly learnt that if Pru told them to bugger off, then it was in their best interest to do so. There were times we just wanted some planning time, we always worked out between us who was going to ask which teacher the awkward question. Well, that and to just be together with no one else around. We were both from farming stock, my father worked on her father’s farm, so we had known one another for a long time, even though we went to different primary schools. This did not help the science master when it came to sex education, we quickly sussed that we knew as much, if not more, than he did, and were not afraid to ask him some very awkward questions. We knew better than to experiment with sex during those few years at school, but we'd had seriously discussed how we were going to lose our virginity to each other – when the time was right. There were several boys who had an interest in Pru, and would take no notice when I told them she wasn’t interested in them. It would have been better if they had, it might have saved them being swiftly, and effectively, disabled by Pru’s knee when they tried to grope her.

I guess that we were in our final year before we finally came to terms with the fact that we really were soulmates, and found a few private places where we could have a good snog and grope each other. Eventually this progressed to mutual masturbation – hey, we were horny teenagers! Even before the, very cursory, sex education that was taught back then we knew all about how it worked, we were, after all, from farming stock so we knew full well how babies were made, and where they came from – and it wasn’t a bloody stork that brought them, nor were they found under a gooseberry bush. I well remember the science master almost having an apoplectic fit during one of the early lessons when Pru asked him about menstruation – she had just started having her periods and wanted to find out just how much he knew.

Eventually we did the deed, we had left school so we must have been about sixteen. It was after a cricket match, Pru came to watch as usual, and after the match suggested that we went for a walk along the cliffs. We walked to a spot in the cliffs where we both loved to sit and watch the sea, and it was then that she suggested that it was time – I knew exactly what she meant and agreed with her. Ye gods, I can’t believe that was fifty odd years ago. So, the deed was done, on a warm summer evening in 1967/8, unseen by any except the gulls playing on the updraughts, and with the sound of the waves breaking on the rocks below us. For us it was no big deal, it had to happen sometime. Although I suspect that for our respective parents the very thought of us having sex would have been a very big deal indeed. It was only after the deed had been done that the thought of pregnancy crossed our minds. Pru used some pretty choice condemnation of the fact that we had not even remembered such a simple basic part of the plan. We were both quite stressed for the next two or three weeks until she had her next period, and we knew all was well. Having had the scare of our own forgetfulness it was discussed that any future sexual activity would only be undertaken with the use of condoms, and agreed that it was the responsibility of both of us to provide them, on the premise that if one forgot the other wouldn’t. I well remember the face of the chemist the first time that Pru asked him for condoms. I was stood behind her as if waiting in the queue, I was ready to buy my share. He asked her if she was sure, and she told him no uncertain terms that of course she was sure, and that she didn’t want to be getting pregnant did she. I guess that this was how her parents first came to suspect that she was having sex with someone. Maybe it would have been better had she said she was buying them for a friend, but Pru never lied, that is unless it was absolutely necessary. Of course, back then girls were not expected to take the lead in anything, and the chemist obviously told on her about the buying of condoms. To give her credit, as much as her parents bullied her she never told who she was having sex with, and added how could she if she wasn’t.

We both found the next few weeks quite fun. Her parents had insisted on taking her to the doctor to prove that she was no longer a virgin. We had a good laugh about that, as the doctor, a woman, confirmed that she was still a virgin – we knew better. Then doctor then asked to speak to Pru alone, and told her that it was obvious that she had lost her virginity, and to be careful, along with other useful advice, along with suggesting the pill that had become available a few years before. Then the following started, her parents were determined to find out what was going on, and followed us for a couple of weeks until it was obvious to them that we weren’t shagging. They thought they were being so clever, and never for one second picked up on the fact that we had sussed them right from the start. Of course it helped that I had overheard a conversation between my parents about how Pru’s parents were going to follow her and find out what was going on – they never did of course.

We both worked for a local builder, me as a labourer and Pru as a sort of secretary come tea girl, come anything else that needed doing girl, in short a general dogsbody. We knew that they weren’t great jobs, but were a start to build on. This was where we found time for planning. We had decided that sex was best left until the heat was well and truly off of Pru. It wasn’t so bad for me, after all boys were supposed to sow their wild oats, whereas girls back then were supposed to still be virgins when they married. I guess that it took about a month for her parents to accept that she wasn’t having sex, and to take the doctor’s word that Pru was still a virgin – that was a laugh in itself. I guess that was when our lives started.
By this time we were at the stage where our lives seemed completely intertwined, to the point where we felt that we needed no one else. Of course we had friends that we spent time with, and went to the pub with, but at the end of the day we simply enjoyed each other’s company better. I guess it must have been about a year after the condom incident that I left the builder and went to work in the local brewery as a trainee learning about the art of brewing. About six months later one of the secretaries was leaving to get married, so I suggested that Pru should apply for the job – thus we, yet again, ended up working in the same place. This arrangement was so much better as it meant that we could spend our lunch breaks together. This led to quite a bit of mickey taking as our colleagues soon worked out that we were, sort of, an item even though we insisted we were only friends, and not to be interfered with. The other blokes soon learnt the lesson to leave Pru well alone – the hard way in some cases. I was left pretty much alone by the other women, and have often wondered whether or not they were told that I was off limits – that would not have surprised me. We were now earning substantially more than we had been, and could afford to be more independent.

By now Pru’s parents were fully aware that she was having sex with someone, but had no idea who, had they known it was me they would probably have gone completely mad. They tried to put a stop to it to no avail, Pru told them in no uncertain terms that she would do what she liked, and if they didn’t like it she would move out. In that respect an impasse had been reached between her and her parents. As I remember it we never talked of love, for us it never even entered our heads, we had a mutual respect for each other, and were there for each other if needed. We were a couple, but not in the traditional sense of those days, we really liked each other, and enjoyed spending time together, but neither of us ever thought about commitment beyond that. Trial and error taught us a lot about sex, along with a couple of books we discovered. Soon we were appreciating the joys far beyond anything we had learnt from all of our early experimentations. Things really came to a head when my father saw us together one day, that evening I was told that Pru was too good for the likes of me. I couldn’t help, or stop, myself, and just punched him in the mouth. The next day at work I was talking to the master brewer, Talan Retallick, who had noticed my mood, about it and he suggested a little cottage near him that was empty, and that he would put a word in with the owner for me. So, within a few days of punching my father I had moved out, and was completely independent.

Pru was so proud of this result, she and I furnished the place from auctions, the only thing she really insisted on was that I bought new beds for each of the two bedrooms. Once we had it decorated and furnished she came round a cooked a delightful meal for us and stayed the night, in the spare room I hasten to add. This led to the complete breakdown of her relationship with her parents, her father called her a whore. The next day she was in tears at lunchtime, almost inconsolable, she didn’t really want to leave home, but saw no alternative. This was when I suggested that she came and shared the cottage on an equal footing, after all there were two bedrooms, and that it really didn’t matter what our parents thought. It took her a couple of days to think about it before she finally worked out that it was she really wanted to do, and that being with me was more important. Even though we had never talked in terms of love I guess that it was working away in our subconscious minds, we knew that we wanted to be together, and that we complimented one another perfectly.

The day she moved in was the day we had our first, and only, real row. We had often fallen out before, but we had always come to a compromise, this time there was no compromise available. The row was over sleeping arrangements, I insisted that she used the spare room, and she insisted that we slept together. Now given that there were only two rooms, there was no chance of there ever being a compromise. In the end I suggested we went to the pub and discussed it over a beer, it was only after a couple of pints that we finally saw the funny side of the situation, as Pru pointed out we were fucking like rabbits, so did it really matter if we shared the same bed we shagged on for sleeping. The funniest thing was that when we got back her mother was waiting on the doorstep. We let her in, Pru showed her ‘her room’, and she seemed quite content. When they came back down her mother confessed that she had known all along that the doctor had lied, that she knew full well that we were having sex, that she hadn’t minded in the least, and why were we not sleeping in the same room. We both, to her mother’s puzzlement, laughed, so we had to explain that we had gone to the pub because that was precisely the topic we had argued about. Pru’s mother went on to explain that her father simply couldn’t come to face the fact that his ‘little girl’ had grown up and wanted to lead her own life.

Things were going really well at work, I, apparently, had a natural instinct for brewing, and Pru was climbing the secretarial ladder pretty quickly as well. Our home life had settled into place with both of us sharing all of the household tasks, cooking and cleaning and such like, to give us more time to ourselves. Given what we had learnt about sex we settled into another period of experimentation, much more easily than when we were always looking out for being caught. I well remember one evening that Pru was more than usually quiet as I cooked and she did other things that needed doing. Once we were sat on the sofa snuggled together I asked what was up. She told me that she had been thinking about something one of the other girls had been talking about, ‘taking it in the arse to avoid getting pregnant’, and asked if I knew anything about arse fucking. I had to admit that I didn’t but that I knew someone who did, and that I would ask him about it. It was really blokes talk at work most of the time, and I had heard Talan refer to shagging his wife’s arse sometimes. I got him alone and said that I had heard one of the girls talking about taking it in the arse, and that it was all new to me. I got chapter and verse, all about how it should be done, and how if it was her first time the way had to be well prepared and lubricated beforehand. By the end of the conversation I knew as much about arse fucking as if I had read a book. That night we experimented, and Pru took to it like a duck to water.

I guess we had been living together for about two years, I had become pretty competent at the brewing lark, and Pru had become the Talan’s PA, so things were pretty damned good for us. One evening Pru told me that she thought it was about time that she made ‘an honest man’ of me. Of course I knew what she meant, and complained that, no matter how I tried, I would never make ‘an honest woman’ out of her – which earned me a slap. We decided to say nothing to anyone in the short term, if we were going to do this it was going to be done quietly, and with the minimum of fuss. We knew that if our mothers got wind of it that would be the end, they would take over all of the organisation. We looked at the calendar and set the date for the next summer solstice, this gave us about eight months. It was decided that it would be a registry office affair, with only the witnesses of our choice attending the ceremony, we had decided on Freddie and Julia, who had, finally, decided they were meant for each other – we knew that all along. Unlike us they had both played the field a bit. Next we decided that the brewery’s function room would make a great place for the reception, and started to draw up a list of those we wanted to celebrate with. The next day we talked to Talan, and discussed our plans with him, swearing him to secrecy, which he seemed to very much approve of. He was so approving that he insisted that he would hire the room for us as a present, and pointed out that if he hired it no one would get wind of what was going on, and said it would be a works do, so all our workmates would have to be invited. We insisted on making a contribution, but he refused and told us we could provide food and booze, and not to forget that they were a thirsty lot.

Pru and I decided that we could leave the ultimate planning to the Spring, and thought that would be time enough to get the registry office booked. We already knew that there was going to be a ‘works do’ on the date, and that Talan had already sorted that. As a thank you we invited Talan and his wife to spend Christmas with us, they had no family of their own, both sets of parents were dead, and, sadly, they never had children. They came on Christmas Eve and stayed over until Boxing Day, even though they only lived less than half a mile away. It was a truly fabulous Christmas for all of us with plenty to eat and even more to drink – I don’t think we were sober for the whole time. Over the new year we discussed whether or not we wanted a honeymoon, and decided that we would just have a normal holiday, but instead of staying at home as usual it might be nice to head north and explore Scotland. As both of us could drive by now we thought it would be a good idea to get the train to either Glasgow or Edinburgh, hire a car and head into the hills finding places to stay along the way. When I told Talan he thought we were mad, and that we should be going somewhere exotic and lying on the beach. Little did I know then that by the end of the month none of this would matter anymore.

A couple of weeks later Pru decided that she would tell her parents, and inform her mother that the plans were already in place – I wished her luck with that one. That was the last time I saw her, she arrived at the farm full of life, and never left it. The farmhouse was halfway down the track to the farm, past a couple of barns and sheds. As Pru was getting out of the car she was hit by a tractor that had run away from the barn – it seems that the handbrake had not been properly applied. Being half in and half out of the car she didn’t stand a chance, and got the full impact of the tractor. Had she been fully in or out of the car she may have survived, inside, the car would have absorbed most of the impact, outside she probably could have jumped clear – but half in and half out she had no chance at all. Pru had taken a day off to go and talk to her parents, so I was still at work when two policemen came looking for me, I knew something was wrong immediately Talan told me that the police were waiting for me in his office. They informed me of the accident, and how sorry they were that Pru had died. I was hit by total numbness, and lost all ability to speak for a few minutes. Talan had been waiting outside, they had already told him why they wanted to speak to me. He now came in and gave me a huge tumbler of whiskey, sat me down and made me drink it. I could see the tears in his eyes as he said how sorry he was, and if there was anything he and his wife could do I had only to ask – I knew that they loved her just as much as I did.

That was all fiftyish years ago now. I never really got over the loss, yes I carried on with life, but never with the same enthusiasm. The weeks after were full of questions, all of which started ‘what if’, none of which had any answer. Eventually I took over from Talan as master brewer when he retired, but always looked to him for guidance when things got difficult. I never did find another soulmate, I never did marry, oh, there were a few women that I lived with down the years, but none of them were Pru. It is only with that wonderful science of hindsight that I realise just how much I loved that woman. I guess that it was not obvious to us at the time because we were inside it, so to speak, and too wrapped up, often literally, in each other, and our lives, to notice. I was not the only one affected, within a month of her death her father had put the farm up for sale, and never set foot on a farm again for the rest of his life. Her mother decided that, given what had happened, life was just too short not to grow old disgracefully, and did her level best to enjoy the ride. I could not blame her, but the stories of her shagging blokes a third of her age left me wondering. As I say that was fiftyish years ago now, and there is never a day that passes without Pru coming to mind, especially when I am doing something that I know full well she would not have approved of. But life, if one can call it that, goes on, even if the end is fast approaching – I would like to think that there is an afterlife, and that we all meet up again, but, who knows.